Are you wondering how to heal from emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse can be much more damaging than physical abuse. There is no question that the pain inflicted lasts much longer and spills over onto other relationships. People who have been the victims of this type of abuse often undergo changes in their personality. The child who was once happy and confident may become shy and withdrawn. The woman who was once sure of her beauty and self worth may struggle with low self esteem the rest of her life.
How to heal from Emotional Abuse – 10 steps
- Get support from your family and friends, let someone close know what is happening so they can support you.
- Stop blaming yourself.
- Choose not to engage or argue. Remove yourself form emotionally abusive situations/conversations.
- If you’re depressed, talk to your doctor about prescribing antidepressants. They usually take 4-8 weeks to work so the sooner you start treatment, the better.
- Document what is happening to you so you remain clear
- Take care of yourself in every way you can
- Find a therapist
- Leave the abuser and move on with your life.
- Avoid this type of abusive men in the future. Learn to recognize the early red flags before you get too involved.
- Give yourself time to heal.
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abusers use every available resource they have to undermine their victim’s confidence and gain control over them. By using derogatory comments and insults they destroy any feelings of self worth the victim may have had. This enables the abuser to control the relationship. And it is all about control.
The emotional abuser destroys their partner’s self esteem. They show little respect and ridicule them as a means of keeping them under “control”. An abusive person is never satisfied therefore a complaint is always on the tip of their tongue ready to be loosed at any minute. They never see anything as their fault so the blame is laid on the partner time and time again. After so much of this the partner may actually begin to believe it is their fault. This is a form of subtle brainwashing.
The abusive person becomes quite adept at handing out ridicule and condescension. Using hateful, harmful words to show their disdain. Insults are common from this type of person and are used often. In more serious cases the abusive person may show signs of “gas lighting” their partner. Using words and actions to make them start to question their own sanity. Making you feel dependent on them is just another way of retaining control of you and the relationship.
How to Heal from Emotional Abuse – it takes time
The changes in abuse victims can often be seen in their body language. They may slouch or attempt to make themselves smaller and unnoticeable when around people. They may have trouble meeting the eye of someone who is speaking to them. Nervous fidgeting is another sign. Anything which shows their discomfort in a physical way can be the result of the abuse.
People who have been emotionally abused can have a difficult time connecting with others. They may withdraw into themselves, refusing invitations from friends or family. Things that they once enjoyed doing might now hold no interest for them. Depression may be a result of the abuse.
While some victims seem to shrink away and attempt to disappear, others become hostile and aggressive. You could notice a complete disregard for other people’s feelings or rights. They may over react to situations that remind them of their abuse in some way. Shorter tempers and a willingness to engage in fights can also be affects of the abuse.
How to Heal from Emotional Abuse
Abuse in a relationship can have many forms. How to Heal from Emotional Abuse is not something often discussed.
Usually, most people think that it is physical. But it can be also verbal and emotional abuse. It’s hard to believe that somebody you love wants to hurt you. It is more difficult to recognize emotional abuse because it does not leave scars but it leaves psychological trauma and invisible wounds. Here’s how to recognize the signs of abuse and steps to recovery from it.
- Recognize that what’s happening is abuse. Don’t be in denial. The signs of emotional abuse include: verbal insults, name-calling (eg:b itch, stupid, psycho), controlling behaviour, criticizing you constantly, putting you down or making jokes at your expense, disregarding your opinion ,isolating you from your family, yelling, threatening to leave you, withholding affection as punishment, ignoring you when you’re talking and not listening, controlling all the money and making all major decisions without you.
- You may be confused and he makes you think that it’s all your fault. Realize you cannot control somebody else’s behaviour, so it is not your fault. Realize, you cannot change that person and that love is not supposed to hurt.
- Emotional abuse lowers your self esteem and puts the abuser in control. He is always right and you’re wrong. It’s his way or the highway. Your emotional needs are neglected and maybe you feel lonely or depressed.
- Have somebody to talk to and let them know what’s going on. Maybe you have to end the toxic relationship. Get support from your family and friends, go talk to a counsellor and get some advice.
- If you’re depressed, talk to your doctor about prescribing antidepressants. They usually take 4-8 weeks to work so the sooner you start treatment, the better.
- Leave the abuser and move on with your life. Become stronger person and learn to avoid this type of abusive men in the future. Learn to recognize the early red flags before you get too involved. I know it is easier said than done and that many practical and emotional hurdles stand in your way. But you have one life.
Further reading on How to Heal from Emotional Abuse
How to gain your self esteem as you get older
