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5 Lessons for my Children to Live By

today – 5 Lessons for my Children to Live By

 

This week I read Pennys lessons learned from her much loved  mother  and I also read Michelle’s post about the legacies she wants to leave her children.  Both pieces of writing moved me greatly and made me reflect on the lessons I have learned and wish to pass on. Michelle challenged others to share the lessons they want to teach their children and here is my response.

It is so important to me to share these lessons and legacies  with my children out of respect and admiration for those who taught me and for the wish to guide them towards happy and valued lives.

lessons to live by, lessons for my children5 Lessons for my Children to Live By

Kindness

The world needs more kindness.

I would say my kindness is my greatest strength and it was definitely a legacy passed down to me. My mum was without doubt the kindest person I have ever known. She was a shining example of how to be your best self.

“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” -Henry James

My children can recite this quote. We have a Be Kind banner at the top of our stairs.  They know the award I am most proud of in life is the kindness cup they started in Brownies in my honour ( I carried a little girl on my back on a very long walk when she cried that her legs were tired. I was only 8)

Kindness rocks.

I value it deeply.  It makes people feel better, shows care and concern and basically makes this world a much better place. If we had a family motto then Be Kind would be it!

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Fight the good fight

I believe with all my heart that you must stand up to injustice and inequality and that indifference is not a good option!

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent on the things that matter.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jnr.

“Washing one’s hands” of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral  Paulo Freire

I don’t want my children to passively sit by and let bad things continue I want them to stand up and be counted and speak out. I don’t want them to be reckless in doing this and put themselves at risk but I do want them to brave and courageous and challenging I  want them to use their voice for good and always stand up.

Be the change

I have impressed on my children from a young age it is almost impossible to change other people but you can change yourself and your behaviours. So if a friend is being unkind you can chose not to play with her  but you can’t MAKE her be nicer to you. If maths is really tricky you can’t force the teacher to give you easier work but you can do extra practice or ask her for help. You need to make the change and be the change and you are powerful enough to make a difference. If you change something then things change. They do.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Positivity

I think having  a positive outlook on life changes everything about your life. Mine has not been a bed of roses and  in many ways my adult life has been quite devastating, but I am happy and I refuse, REFUSE to look down. I look up to the sunshine and try and see the good in my days. I  will not focus on losses and negativity (not for too long anyway) and I will think lovely thoughts and smile on. I want my children to do the same and when they dwell or worry a little too long I pull them back to look at the positives, take some action, look at things differently. I want them always to choose sunshine.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow   Helen Keller
 
 

An attitude of gratitude

 
There is a tendency in our often greedy culture to focus on the don’t haves. I want my children to focus on what they do have, the friends and family who love them, the food on their plates, their opportunities to learn and play and grow. Each day we write down out gratitudes and each night we say aloud our thank you’s.
 
They are truly blessed and knowing this should help them avoid being grumpy,  moany, never satisfied and unappreciative adults! Instead as they value the life they have they should find peace and contentment.
 

 

Oh I want to add one more..I know that makes 6…….. but I am on  a roll and its important!

 

 

Faith

 
I have a deep faith and I believe that all those who I have loved and have passed are simply waiting for me and always watching over me. My children blow kisses to their grandma in heaven every night. I would dearly love for their faith to stay strong so when I am gone they know I am just waiting and watching and loving them eternally.

Every now and again take a good look at something not made with hands –a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream. There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world. – Sidney Lovett

 
These life lessons were passed to me by my feisty, fabulous dad who told me NEVER to walk past a fight if someone needed my help. They were passed down from my sweet, lovely mum who showed me time and time again that when life gives you lemons you go on and make lemonade and that kindness really was all that mattered. They, of course, were taught these lessons by their parents and their grandparents…..generations of lessons and legacies.
 
I see my children held in the arms of layers and layers of my family who all have passed down these teachings of life and love. They will be just fine.
 
I hope you enjoyed this post on 5 Lessons for my Children to Live By  You might also like my post on how to be more content
 
 
 

 

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20 Comments

  1. March 21, 2015 / 7:24 am

    This is a lovely post and I have picked up quite a few ‘mottos’ to print and display in my kitchen.
    Cherie recently posted…A lovely day todayMy Profile


    • Author
      March 21, 2015 / 8:04 am

      Thanks Cherie

  2. Oh these are so lovely – my #Big5 seem so frivolous in comparison! Kindness is a much underrated gift – a very little goes a long way. So glad to see this highlighted. All your advice is awesome. My kids and I also say what we are grateful for but I am going to steal your ‘attitude with gratitude’ saying, thank you 🙂 And thank you for all of this.
    Anya from Older Single Mum and The Healer recently posted…The Big 5 Life Lessons.My Profile

  3. March 15, 2015 / 1:46 pm

    I love that you think of your Mum as the kindest person you ever knew, I’d be a very happy lady if my children thought that of me. xxx
    Emma recently posted…Easy Elsa CakeMy Profile

  4. March 14, 2015 / 6:53 am

    This is so beautiful and I love his these legacies have been passed down through the family for generations. Kindness and a positive attitude make such a difference. Your family sounds wonderful!

  5. March 13, 2015 / 3:59 pm

    I adore this. You are one of the most authentic people I know. You walk the walk AND talk the talk. Your children will no doubt grow up to be kind and well rounded. You are a wonderful Mother and a real role model to lots of people. Our family motto is always be kinder than you need to be.
    Jen Walshaw recently posted…Chocolate cornflake nests – cooking with kidsMy Profile


    • Author
      March 13, 2015 / 5:05 pm

      Thankyou Jen, such lovely comments …you do too!

  6. March 13, 2015 / 2:55 pm

    Ah Becky – some beautiful beautiful words there. You are quite simply one of the kindest people I know and for that reason (along side many others!) I’m rather proud to call you my friend and I hope that I’m learning to live my life better through having you in it.
    Penny Carr recently posted…I Need a Wee – Sue Hendra and Paul LinnetMy Profile


    • Author
      March 13, 2015 / 5:05 pm

      Bless you Penny I feel privileged to be your friend too

  7. March 13, 2015 / 1:23 am

    Beautiful post Becky, just beautiful 🙂 When I think of you the first word that always comes to mind is kindness. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a bad word about anyone. It’s so lovely that you’re passing those values onto your children xxx
    Ruth recently posted…Old Friends New FriendsMy Profile

  8. March 13, 2015 / 12:03 am

    Ahh Becky this post is awesome, I love, love, love all those you have chosen, many are similar to mine and you are right you are one of the kindess people I know. Rock on superstar! Mich x
    Michelle Twin Mum recently posted…It has to be said – #PovertyisSexistMy Profile

  9. March 12, 2015 / 8:23 pm

    Becky this is such a beautifully written blog. It bought such emotion into my heart and body. You live by what you write and I love that.
    Naomi Richards recently posted…Happy, smiling childrenMy Profile


    • Author
      March 12, 2015 / 8:33 pm

      Ah you do just the same Na such a lovely mum x

  10. March 12, 2015 / 7:06 pm

    This is so beautiful!

    I share every single one with you!!

    I have never thought to write these things down for my girls, I have tried to lead by example. But it is something that needs to be documented, for them to refer to later!

    Thank you x


    • Author
      March 12, 2015 / 5:35 pm

      Ah thank you love x

  11. kay
    March 12, 2015 / 2:16 pm

    That truly inspired me and we all need to speak a bit of kindness x


    • Author
      March 12, 2015 / 5:35 pm

      We do kay!

  12. March 12, 2015 / 11:25 am

    Becky this is so beautiful. And it has YOU and your wonderful kindness written all over it. It makes me feel better reading it, just as talking to you always makes me feel better. I love that it is backed up with quotes, you are such a wise keeper of words. Just thinking of all those generations of your family makes me smile too – what a wonderful chain. As my Mum died I could see her joining that chain. Love that last quote, trust you also to pick a quote that would mean something whatever faith people hold onto.
    Penny recently posted…She said spread your wings my little butterfly – Little LegacyMy Profile

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