Siblings Without Rivalry – and how to raise them
Effective parenting is one of the key strategies to secure the wellbeing and good future of your kids. Sibling rivalry is one of the major issues that most parents’ complaint of. when you have two or more children and they grow up together, it is inevitable that things will not always work out smoothly between them.
Raising Rival Siblings
Under such circumstances, it becomes very hard for parents to manage the kids together and while doing so they commit many mistakes that are seen to exert long term impacts on the kids both emotionally and psychologically. Sibling rivalry is not paid much attention while the kids are small, but it may attain lethal dimensions when they grow up.
The best way to avoid such unfavorable outcomes is to manage the rivalry since childhood. Today, in this article we are going to discuss the small and simple ways in which you as parents or guardians can eliminate the ill effects of sibling rivalry and instead help you raise siblings without rivalry
Siblings without rivalry – tips on how to raise them
Let’s take a look at some useful strategies for raising siblings without rivalry
The greatest mistake that parents commit is that they pay unequal attention to both. Either they end up paying more heed to the one kid who is a bit weak than the other. It may also occur otherwise. That means in many cases, parents are too busy paying attention to the kid who does well academically or otherwise. So, the weaker one feels more neglected.
Both of these are strictly to be avoided. You need to pay equal attention to both. You need to scold all the kids equally on the same mistake and you also need to reward them equally in case of the same achievement. Right from childhood, try to set an example before your kids, through your actions that you ate impartial as parents this really wil help you raise siblings without rivalry
For siblings without rivalry stay out of their internal fights
Parents often interfere too much within the fights of the kids. Let them handle their internal affairs by themselves. Until and unless it is absolutely necessary, do not indulge yourselves as judges in their affairs. When you want to speak in between them, stay calm and cool. Try to handle the situation only after listening to both the sides equally well. Om no way, you should reflect partiality. Always remember, your kids will learn to behave exactly the same way as you do with them.
Let them be a team of their own and stay out of their internal matters. You do not need to pry over every little issue between your kids. Make them realize that you respect their privacy and they will learn to do the same.
Communicate and cooperate
Communication is the key strategy to solve all problems. Make sure that you encourage healthy communication between all the members of the family. Many times, children become afraid of voicing their opinion just because they feel that anything they will say would not be granted. This is a very big issue. In the long run, this creates a significant negative impact on the psychology of the kid. All the members of the family, whatever their age be, must deserve an equal representation when it comes to decisions.
Sit down together in the form of a meeting and let your kids speak out their opinions. Try to include their suggestions in final decisions and tasks. If you have more than one kid, try to include the suggestions of both in the decisions partially. This will induce a sense of responsibility and satisfaction in your kids. In future, they will start to take interest in family matters and also feel that they are equally responsible for the wellbeing of the family
Cooperate with your kids in every decision that they make. Let them understand for themselves why a decision is right or wrong. You can suggest them but you cannot force them.
Practice what you Preach for siblings without rivalry
If you want your children to listen to what you say and follow the same, you will have to practice the same yourself. The way you behave with your partner, your gestures towards your partner will induce your kids to adopt the same kind of behavioral patterns with their siblings.
Every time, be conscious about the words you use for any one, in their presence or behind their back. This will affect your kids positively and they will understand that it is not good to hurt the feelings of others. Gradually, you shall see that they are implementing the same kind of behavior towards their siblings.
If you have brothers or sisters, conduct good behavior with them. Once, your kids will see that their father or mother is carrying out their responsibilities towards their aunts and uncles in the best possible way, they shall do the same to their brothers and sisters. It is always up to you, what your kids will learn because your actions will always create more sense than what your mere words will.
Every child is unique. Celebrate the uniqueness of your kids
Not every child is the same. What you need to stop at once is comparing your one child with his or her sibling. Remember that all your children are individual human beings and none of them are destined to be clones of one another. They will have different nature, choices and wishes. As parents, it is very important that you scrutinize the interests of each of your kids and encourage them to do what they are best at. Their siblings are not their competitors and neither do all of your kids need to follow the same passion. Instead, happily accept the individuality of every kid and you shall see that their siblings are doing the same. Most of the time, parents force one kid to become as good as the other kid. This induces the feeling of hatred in that child for his or her sibling and the fumes of this hatred are widespread. It continues to spoil their elations for lifetime.
CONCLUSION on raising siblings without rivalry
The mind of children is like a mass of wet clay. You can mold it in whichever way you want. It is up to you what kind of adults do you want them to be. Sibling rivalry is not a cofunction of the age. That means, it is not small kids only who consider their siblings as their enemies. Many times, the hatred between the two kids does not become prominent until they have grown up. The manifestation of rivalry and disliking among the kids often become visible when they have attained maturity. What as parents or guardians you should do is that, notice the kids closely. Even if you see the slightest of rival feelings between them, try to resolve it immediately. Small grievances for one’s siblings pile up to be huge fatal dislikings with age. Actually, one of the best ways is to make the siblings responsible for each other. Let them stand up for each other. Right from birth, make them understand that their sibling is their responsibility and they need to care for each other.
Jealousy, misunderstandings and attention seeking are the usual psychological symptoms that are bound to occur when children grow up with their sibling. Look at these from normal perspectives and remember nothing is impossible to solve and compassion is the only key.
You really can raise siblings without rivalry – happy parenting!!
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