How Do I Get Over Shyness? – If you’re shy, you don’t have to stay shy.
I was probably so shy that even someone mentioning my name at the dinner table would make me blush You associate this sort of behaviour with little girls, not grown men. But it can impact anyone.
How Do I Get Over Shyness?
I think shyness has a lot to do with the type of environment you were brought up in.
Not good enough
One form of shyness is a fear of not being good enough, or to put it another way, of thinking that what you say, or the face you present to the the world, will never live up to the expectation you have of yourself. That’s why you so often meet good looking people who cannot say very much or cannot put together an interesting sentence.
They have become used to being adored for their looks that
a) they have never needed to use conversation as an attraction and
b) they fear that by opening their mouths they will spoil their appeal, which then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Humiliation
Another type of shyness is one brought on by a humiliating experience. This can lead to a more serious condition called Social Anxiety Disorder, where the individual suffers acute nervousness at the thought of any social interaction whatsoever. This is not funny to the bearer, although they can often find themselves the but of jokes which then worsens the condition.
Facing it off
Whichever way you look at it, shyness is a phobia, and like all phobias the best way to correct it is to face up to it. As in all phobia cases, a series of cognitive behavioural responses can be elicited from the sufferer through made up scenarios which gradually increase in difficulty. So if you had a fear of dogs, you would be introduced to a cute, docile member of the species on a leash held by its owner and gradually led to the point where you have the courage to encounter a doberman in a small room on your own. Or maybe not!
Baby Steps to Get Over Shyness
The treatment for shyness is no different, where at the bottom of the scale, you encourage yourself or others encourage you, to meet nice, non-judgmental people who will listen to you and not make fun of anything that you say.
Once you have conquered one scenario you move on to the next until you feel more confident in yourself. At the top of the scale you will get the confidence to address a group of individuals in a meeting, say, or give a speech at a party.
Get Over Shyness by Facing Reality
People who are not shy generally don’t care what other people think; they challenge, contribute to and share with a group any thought they have at every opportunity, whereas shy people weigh up every word in their heads a million times before they say it in case it causes offence or it backfires and makes them look stupid. The key idea to grasp if you’re shy is this:
a) nobody really cares what you have to say. It’s not going to affect what they think about you as a person. It’s only conversation
b) even if you do look stupid, so what? It’s not the end of the world. Some very important people end up making themselves look stupid sometimes and they just brush it off and carry on. If they can do it, why not you? Think about Boris on the zipwire!
