5 Ways to Stop Being a People Pleaser All the Time
Learning to share, being helpful to others and having empathy- those are the few of the many qualities that most of us have been bought up with. While all these qualities help shape our personality for the better, too much of them can do more harm than good to us.
If you too, are a people pleaser or know someone who is, here’s a little help. Keep reading to discover how to stop being one.
Set Your Priorities
The simplest and easiest way to put the brakes on yourself from being a people pleaser is to set your priorities. While it is okay to go out of your way and do something for the select few people in your life, remember that you can’t do it for everyone, and that you need to value those things in your life that are important to you, and that you cannot let anything else get in the way of those priorities.
Understand that you’ll Feel Guilty
This one’s super important- once you start taking the first few steps towards putting yourself first and saying ‘no’ sometimes, you’ll feel guilty- super guilty. Remember that it is completely okay to do so, and that self care is important too, and that the guilt you are currently experiencing is better than the guilt of doing something that you actually don’t want to do.
Accept that Not Everyone Will Like You
A lot of us tend to struggle with this one- we tend to have that main drive to do everything we can to please everyone around us, and it ultimately gives rise to low self esteem. We tend to seek validation and love and respect from those around us to feel good, but often forget that in life, there will always be people who love you for what you are, and some others who will dislike you even if you do everything in your power to make them happy.
Set the Time Limit
Another great trick to start setting boundaries and to avoid being a people pleaser is to set a time frame for yourself mentally. For example, you can be open to help out that friend of yourself if the request he has made can be done by say 10 pm. If you’re someone who needs 8 hours of sleep everyday, learn to say no to things that will definitely make you lose out on that.
Ditch the Excuses
Initially when you start to put yourself first, you may be tempted to give a lot of excuses whenever you start to say no in order to defend your decision, but that’s just another trap. You’re still a people pleaser. The next time you say no to something, make sure you don’t clarify, at least not when you’re not asked for it.